Seven years ago my pastor at the time came to me and said that I had the desire to do a 7 day prayer campaign for my healing, so she went on a vigil and there God told her to come and make the campaign that He I would do the work in my life.
She came every day in my house regardless of how she was and it is said in passing that she came out of a first aid and went to my house to pray not to let the campaign be broken and did her part, but the cure did not It happened. And a few days later I went to say goodbye to a brother, who had asked God to talk to me about my healing for him, because he was a great servant and he hugged me and said to me like this – Wait in God’s time.
Ok I wait, but the big question is: and how am I going to live while the Lord is not coming?
Because it’s so easy for people to pray for you and say at the end – wait things will happen in God’s time, wait, have patience, the great ones of the bible had to wait – as if my oldness was a whim of mine, or the same That say: I want that shoe now, because I go to a party and I want to go with it.
Because between the day when God speaks and the day He acts may take time and it is a time when nothing happens, nothing changes and I continue with the same unbearable pain, with the same difficulties, having to live in a normal world without being normal.
I have to get out of bed, clean my house, work in front of the computer and I can no longer open my hand to hold the mouse, and I have to stay with my husband, walk, also can not take the treatment, the exams, live From clinic to clinic, surgeries so painful, hospitalizations, I can not take any more needles sticking my skin and hurting so much. Living with pain, with limitations, there is something I can do, there are others that I can not.
As Lord I live there? I can not take it anymore.
So people who do not even know what it is to have a chronic illness say: “Ah, wait for the Lord, praising, adoring … yes I do it but not for the cure, but for the love of God, and then if I do it An angel will come here in my house and will clean it for me, will get the car and will take me to water aerobics, go there to get the medicine? Not even I had a person come and do it for me, who will say a angel.
God never facilitated my life regardless of whether I was in or out of the church, asking or not, praising or not.
He did not even take a taxi to help me not need to ride a bus.
So I thought about how Abraham waited for the years that it took God to fulfill the promise in his life to give him a son. How did he live from the day God spoke until the day he could finally hold his son Isaac in his lap?
Think well, Abraham lived as he had lived before, likewise, nothing changed, only changed the day his son was born.
God did not change his days at all, nor did he change life a little while he waited.
I know that waiting for a dream is different from waiting for the end of an illness that prevents you from living normally, that enslaves you and that causes you pain as if it were a knife in your bones.
But God’s time in his life is the same in our lives, we have to wait and go to live.
Maybe Abraham saw the other men with his son and thought, “How I wanted to be with mine here, now.” I thought and dreamed like us today with our liberation, with the day when we can wake up in the morning and we will not feel this pain anymore, we will be able to do everything I want, we will not need to take medicine anymore and attend clinics and hospitals and do Infernal surgeries.
But from the day that God speaks to me until the day He acts depends on me choosing how to live and I have learned that I do not need to suffer even more, I do not need to add weight to my cross. I have two choices and I choose the one that least sacrifices me.
I accepted the suffering because I thought since God does not want to cure me His desire is to see me suffering, for I must have been cursed to live in punishment, I was condemned to hell and I am already paying a part in life rsrsrs.
But I realized that I do not need to accept suffering and that I should try to live as easily as possible.
Oh more I need to suffer, I am a servant of Christ and He also suffered, just that He already suffered, just did it so we do not have to suffer.
God does not give the cross according to our conduct, God gives the cross according to the plan that He has in our life, and maybe the disease is part of that plan and heal or not are also part of a plan of Him for us.
We have to look for alternatives that will make our life easier.
So I learned to say no to everything that sacrificed me and I had to make choices and had to let go of things that were important to me were little choices that made a big difference in my life.
I learned to say no to people, and to whom I love and who love me and who may even get upset, I have eliminated expensive and important things that I bought inside my house but which I could no longer use.
I made a list of everything I needed to buy to replace them and that would make my life easier, and I did not have to get rich for that. I spent little, I did not have to spend a fortune to change my day-to-day life.
Sometimes things are so easy to change we just need an attitude – take action – my husband made a face for everything I wanted to buy why he said: this is not necessary but I know how it was necessary for me.
How many times have I cried under the old shower because the little shower hose was falling and I did not have the strength to clean it, my husband was not at home and could not continue to bathe in the shower? Lol
I struggled to iron because the iron was too heavy, so I bought a lighter iron, how many times I cried in front of the mirror because I could not dry my hair anymore because the dryer was big and heavy, so I gave it to a friend and bought it A smaller and lighter, lower brand, but it does not matter.
How many pots, I could no longer open, heavy dishes to wash, I can no longer open or close my hands, I can no longer do my fingernails or hands, I can not put the cover of the pillow and how many things I can not do .
Every time I was admitted to the hospital I had to have a surgery, it was a big, painful surgery, I had to stay with my roommates, with their visits, the television turned on at dawn all the time that I would not let myself sleep, Air conditioning I did not want and always were old people then prevailed what they wanted, until the day I decided to pay an expensive health plan, give up a lot of things, shoes, handbags, dresses, pizzas, travel, gifts … to have comfort today, to be alone and my husband to be with me all day.
How many things I’ve changed in my life and in my home that made my life easier.
I lived in a large house that was difficult to clean, had a ladder of about 8 steps that I had no strength to climb and to go down was very painful, my husband had to carry me on his lap, was far from a gym I could not To exercise because no one took me. So I left the house and came to live in an apartment and today I changed the stairs by the elevator and with some steps I can do gym of my building I and my house is much better is much easier for me to clean, a huge change with a change Insignificant of value.
Take action to change my life, I did not need to suffer so much time and I did not need money for it, some things were even cheaper than the ones I had, because I need to buy smaller and lighter things, so they are cheaper.
There are things that only God can do – the miracle of healing – but living well or at least in the best possible way, until He works a miracle depends on me.
Complaining does not work, not crying either, discouraging even less is the way to do something to improve my life.
What I can do in my daily life I do and what I can no longer do I abandon and I do not regret.
I was a manicure, I did my nails every weekend, now I can no longer cut my fingernails and I do not regret it, if I think I’m crying, I’ll ask my husband to cut them off, Because even in a manicure I can go, because when they put their hand on my fingers the pain is great.
I had long hair, painted, smoothed, brushed, it was beautiful, I cut short and stopped painting, I can no longer take care of it, not even comb it, my husband combing for me, sometimes I’m combing and the comb drops From my hand and goes under the bed because I can not close my hand and hold it right and I can not bend down to pick up the comb and if I’m alone I have to leave my hair anyway until my husband comes and picks up me.
We have to try to eliminate from our lives everything that is making it more difficult.
I had a lot of things inside my house to make her look more beautiful, but I did not have any more conditions to take care of, to clean every corner, to get things out of the place and to clean every corner, so I took everything and gave The others, things that I have won, things that I had bought with so much affection, paid dearly, but, never mind, I do not regret it and I do not regret it, what is important is that it is now easier for me to clean.
I do not care what people think when they come to visit me, if the house is ugly or not, the important thing is I can easily clean it and take care of it. And if for that I had to give up important things to me – I did it.
When a friend invites me to go to his house, to travel, to camp, to sleep at his house or to go to a party, if I’m not well, I will not, I do not make any long-term commitment because I do not know how Will be in 5 minutes, I do not know how I wake up tomorrow, imagine in a month.
I live one day at a time and if people can not understand me the problem is theirs. I did not choose this disease, I did not stop loving them, but I have a different life with limitations, which they can not even imagine.
If I can choose the better side, I choose the best, I choose not to suffer.
If you can choose between suffering and not suffering do not suffer! Because this will not bring you any reward, it is actually paying a fool price.